7 Type of Customers That I Hate

Posted by | March 30, 2011 | General, Migration | 17 Comments

As a business owner, we’re always on the receiving end of criticism and complaints. Try as hard as you may, there will always be that one person who is just not satisfied and has a lot of time to post negative reviews about your product on forums and blogs.

So this time, let us business owners rant and complain about the customers. Contrary to what you may believe, customers are not all right all the time.

Here are the 7 type of customers that I just can’t put up with, ranked in order of annoyance factor:

7) The Freeloader

They send you an email asking you to explain the ABCs of online marketing to them, but the moment you ask them to attend your seminar they start cursing you. Somehow they feel that you “owe” them an answer, but in reality their questions are so off the mark that it cannot be answered unless they have a basic understanding of how online marketing works.

They want to meet you at your office to learn more about Internet marketing or selling online, but put a price tag to your time and you’ll never hear from them again. They sometimes also want to “partner” with you but have nothing to offer in the partnership.

This guy is number 7 in my list because there’s just so many of them around that I’m used to them. They’re not really that dangerous, plus it’s easy to ignore them.

6) The All Caps Guy

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SOME PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WRITING IN ALL CAPS IS RUDE. IT IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE SHOUTING OR ANGRY. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEM PLEASE LOOK FOR THE “CAPS LOCK” BUTTON ON YOUR KEYBOARD. HIT THAT BYTTON AND MAGICALY YOU WILL APPEAR POLITE TO EVERYONE YOU EMAIL. YOU WILL RECEIVE MUCH BETTER RESPONSES FASTER.

This guy is only number 6 on my list because I have to consider the fact that it could be a actual mental disorder.

5) The Bookworm

This guy knows everything about everything, or at least thinks he does. He will always interrupt your presentation by asking you off-tangent questions and very often answering them himself. He is up to date with the latest Internet news, and is often disappointed when you’re not.

Every bit of rumor is important to them, and they often spend more time reading and studying than doing anything else. I’ve met a few of the Bookworms in my life and I always ask them, “Do you have a website?”.

The answer? One the following:

  • Not yet, I’m drawing up a strategy
  • I’m not ready yet because I need to study more
  • Do I need a website? But I read in Method X by Mr. Y blah blah blah..

This guy is only number 5 because I used to be like him, so I understand.

In time this guy will realize that you don’t need to know everything. You just need to know a handful of things and put them into action.

4) Chicken Little

chicken-little

When I do seminar I sometimes get that one extremely negative person, the “Chicken Little” who is convinced that the sky is falling.

For whatever reason, they are just skeptical about everything. It seems like they have failed (or got “cheated” in their own words) in more things that you can imagine, but I know the reality is that they have never really tried. Since they are naturally negative and has made no effort to change, they will always look at the negative side of things.

Everything is a “scam” unless proven otherwise. Guilty till proven innocent.

The problem with negativity is that it can effect the whole group if you let it go unchecked. An effective way to silence the Chicken Little’s is to not answer their questions directly in the event itself. Deflect the negative questions whenever possible, or else the whole crowd starts becoming negative and then you’re doomed.

3) The Devil’s Advocate

This guy attends your event and tell you how much all the other events suck. How he feels ripped off because they didn’t deliver to his expectations. He will go as far as directly mentioning their names and criticizing them publicly.

For me this is a dangerous customer. Tomorrow he could easily be talking bad about me to other business owners or Internet marketers. When this guy asks me “What do you think about Mr. XXXX”, I evade the question because I know that putting others down will not help me.

It’s a trap and a disaster waiting to happen.

I will try my best to persuade him not to get my products or attend my seminars, because The Devil’s Advocate is quite good at twisting facts and any deal you make with him involves selling your soul.

2) The MLM Guy (Darth Vader)

MLM_Recruiting I can’t even count how many times I’ve dealt with the deceptive MLM guy. They call you up saying that they already have their own product and would like to see if you could work something out with them in a mutually beneficial way.

Since they have bought your products, you feel obliged.

Sounds great at first, but after a few minutes with the MLM guy you realize that he’s actually trying to recruit you into his MLM business.

The “product” is actually whatever the MLM company sells, and when he says “work together” he actually means “I want to recruit you”.

I really hate the MLM guy, simply because of the level of deception involved. Time wasted that I will never get back. Plus it’s quite hard to get rid of them as they don’t seem to take No for an answer.

This guy is only number 2 because unfortunately there is another type of customer who is far worse…

(Drum roll)..

The number one spot goes to..

1) The Evil Millionaire (Satan)

evil This is the type of person I hate the most, because they waste a lot of your time and makes life a lot less fun. In my business I often find people who are already successful in other businesses. They drive big cars, dress well and have all the latest gadgets.

But they want to get you to work for free. Under the guise of potential business opportunities, they get in touch with you and suggest that you work together. But the “deal” often involves you putting your time and money on the line while they do almost nothing and spend no money. They want to manipulate you, but don’t realize that you can see it coming.

Even when they do pay they try to squeeze every last penny out of you. In the middle of projects they change their mind, and you’re supposed to start again from scratch. They try to push you around, because in their mind since they have paid you money, you have to do what they say.

When dealing with people like this make sure you have a well-written legally-binding agreement or you’re putting yourself at risk.

I cannot understand why people like this exist, and how they became successful in the first place. They could have manipulated their way to short-term success, but in the long term their I Win You Lose mentality will win them more enemies than friends.

17 Comments

  • lol – the caps lock i really go wild and even yell at my pals whn they use it and tell them why and when we have to use it.
    Got the site while searching and found it intresting and good to know you guys are from malaysia as I just came 2 months ago frm my home country India for the first time. All the best

  • Pete says:

    There’s always a little bit of every type of customers that you’ve mentioned in all of us. After all we are customers ourselves aren’t we? LOL.

  • WCK says:

    Haha, funny post. Reading this makes me realize – Money brings out the worst in people. Unfortunately. True.

  • HT Lee says:

    This post cracks me up, especially the smart use of the images. Lol.

    I agree with you. I could especially identify with point 7, 3 and 1.

    I hope you weren’t describing the local scene….

  • I would like to say that every entrepreneur has to be a psychologist in some degree to understand customers from the very beginning. So, if you understand customers you will manage to avoid dealing with bad clients from the very beginning.

  • hasseenah says:

    Hi Gobala,
    I got few no3`s. I usually politely decline to treat them, tell them that i don`t have what they want and send them elsewhere- to my `enemy` if possible. : ) Got few n.2 as well and will tell them, TQ, not interested.
    Actually you will meet all 7 of them given time. You just have to know how to recognise it and deal with it.

  • aasmaliana says:

    Yeah…it’s true for the MLM guy and they recruit so many Darth Vader protege out there….

  • Myriam Borg says:

    Yup. I meet a lot of these 7 deadly customers lol!

    But that’s business and we business owners should be able to handle them effectively. When I started business, I didn’t know where to start or to convert these kind of customers to real buying customers. And I am happy to share my tools and resources in making your online business successful at http://www.cre8recovery.com.

    Please, I’d love to hear your comments!

  • Jerry says:

    You sound like a really bitter person from your post. You’re actually want the same thing as your customers but instead try to distort the facts here.

    You want to profit from them, getting more than what you give. Net profit to you.

    Your customers want to get more from you than what they give. Net profit to them.

    Your version of win-win is of course biased from your point of view. It’s more like, what’s win-win to you.

    I’m surprise that a person of your experience would resort to something like this, complaining about your customer types to the world. At best, this is a cheap attempt at publicity that could incur a backlash. At worst, this would lead people to conclude the childish side of you in the business world. Face it, this is business and it’s tough competition out there. Keep your hate post to yourself and do everyone a favor.

  • mano says:

    Great list, 1 & 3 …. is the best.

    These types of people normally do more harm for others than themselves.

  • Cskuan says:

    Very nice,humourous post! LOL :D

    Best Regards Bro ^^

  • Azman says:

    you’re right gobala..Customer is not always right..Sometime they are get over to request something from us..No one can satisfy everyone…

    Thanks for the nice article…

  • bob says:

    LOL – THE CAPS LOCK

  • eddi88 says:

    I totally agree, I hate meeting these types of customers.

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